The Build

Since so many of you are actually here for baby stuff, first, I give you Halloween Tori:

She was a cat. Super-cute costume, but as you can see, she generally wasn't a fan. Too warm. But no worries.... halloween with a kid this young is pretty much a non-event. We took her around to 'trick or treat' some friends and relatives, but that's about it. But still: awfuly cute, isn't she?

At five months, this kid is a pure joy. I hate to sound like a cheeseball, but it's true. We got a lucky draw, I think: she fusses relatively little, but smiles and laughs fairly often. I even catch myself having agood time playing with her, which is saying something, since it's not like she can go out and throw frisbee or something. Mostly we just hang out, I tickle her, and watch her laugh. That's it... but it's actually a good time. For a half-hour or so, anyway.

But this is a good stage. She's not mobile, she doesn't get bored so easily that we can't take her to restaurants, she's still fairly easy to feed and change and whatnot.

My wife has been an absolute angel about some things. For one- I can't handle dirty diapers. I've tried; I just can't. When the smell hits me my gag reflex goes beserk. So she handles all dirty diapers without complaint. (I try to offset it by taking on more of the wet diapers) We're also still breastfeeding. Guys, let me tell you: if your wife wants to go this route, it'll make your life easier. Because who's the only person who can feed the baby at night? Mom, that's who. I don't mean to be selfish, but among my many quirks is the fact that I need my sleep, and this whole breastfeeding thing means I rarely have to get up at night. Woot. Again, all kudos to my lady on this count.

So yeah, life on the kid front is good.

----

Now, to the HTPC. It's time to put it all together.

First, I'm not going to spell out every little step- there are directions included in the manuals, and if you haven't built a PC before you probably should have a tech-savvy friend oversee you anyway. Instead, I'm mostly going to point out the potential pitfalls for this particular hardware combo, along with a handful of other observations.

- Important first step: if you've surveyed the connectors coming out ofthe Antec Fusion 430 case, you'll find that there are two two-pin headers labeled "POWER SW". This isn't mentioned anywhere in the manual; the only reference you get to this in the documentation is a poorly drawn diagram of the back of the front panel, and that diagram has no instructions whatsoever. After a little tinkering, I discovered that the black and white one, which comesoff of the main power switch, needs to be routed and plugged in rightbehind the OLED display.

Here's the spot where it goes:

And here it is plugged in:

The remaining red and black POWER SW connector plugs into the mobo in the normal power switch spot. This allows both the front panel power switch and the IR remote power switch to work.

- When mounting the mobo, you will need to install the two additional risers included in the hardware packet that came with the mobo. The spots where they need to go are circled here. (Sorry I didn't get this as a before pic. I really should have).

- The 5.25" and 3.5" bays are both removable, and are insulated for noise with nice thick silicon washers- this really impressed me. However, the lower mounting for the hard drives require you to screw from underneath the case. So I'd recommend carefully thinking through which bay you're going to mount your drive in, so you only have to upend your case once. But overall, both the optical and hard drives mounted with no problems.

- Hooking up power - For the most part, things went as planned. The Antec PSU only has one line of SATA power sources, and they can't reach both the hard drive and the optical drive, but thankfully, ASUS included several molex-to-SATA adaptors among their bundled goodies. More reason to love ASUS.

There was one hitch, however. See this plug coming off the power supply?

Looks an awful lot like an PSU_FAN connector, doesn't it? WARNING: it isn't. I actually hooked this up to the PSU_FAN spot on the mobo and tried to start up the computer; thankfully, either the PSU or the mobo was smart enough not to fire up. After some digging, I found another three pin connector hiding under one of the case partitions:

This is the power source for the OLED on the front of the case. The Antec instructions had led me to believe that the whole front panel was powered by a two-pin molex connector. Not so much. Plug these two together and you're good to go.

And I'd like to take a moment to recommend getting the full retail package when buying the motherboard- ASUS includes a wealth of extra cables, adaptors, and other goodies. They also include a driver that you'll need to get your network plug to work. So- don't jump on any open box deals; you probably want the full retail on this one.

After initial assembly, I decided that it might be a good idea to fire it up and get everything stable before installing the tuner card. Aside from the aforementioned PSU_FAN fiasco, startup with problem-free.

I installed Vista 32, which took maybe 30-45 minutes all told. Next order of business was to install everything on the ASUS disk. With that done, I could connect to the net and reflash my BIOS with the latest version.

Then I proceeded to install the software that came with the blu-ray drive. I had a couple of issues here. I installed their whole suite, but upon launching PowerDVD, it prompted me to update. It sent me to a site to download a patch- I instructed it to download & run- but after doing so, I was still getting the prompt. I ended up needing to manually download the file and run it myself. With that done, it'd play both BRD and HD-DVDs on my monitor with no problems. Looks great, no skipping or hesitation. The OLED on the front of the box tells me I'm using about 45% of my CPU during BRD playback. I watched about half of Iron Man and even with the stock CPU cooler, temps in the case never went above 22 C.

The drive also didn't come with any Lightscribe software. This may be because I got the OEM pack... so I went to lightscribe.com and grabbed theLightscribe System Software and Lightscribe Template Labeler (free in theirdownload section). I tested this out by making a mix CD for a friend; the lightscribe art looked great and the CD played fine using the burner software included with the drive.

Later that night I hit my first snag: I wanted to watch Transformers on mySamsung HDTV, so I took the box downstairs and plugged it in via HDMI cable. First problem was that the desktop was bigger than the display whenset at 1920x1080, for some reason- it cut off the task bar at the bottom and about half the icons on the left of the desktop. I used the included tools to scale it down to make everything viewable. But still: annoying. And then I got hit with my second annoyance: when I tried to play eitherHD-DVDs or BRDs, I got an error message saying that my display wasn't HDCP (high def copy protection) compliant. Now, I took a moment to check-the drive is compliant, the mobo and integrated graphics are HDCP compliant, and the TV is compliant. So, something's not handshaking right.

But I haven't even installed the tuner card yet, so maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. Next installment will involve getting things up and running.

No pics, but a sweet new project.

What do dads need to keep themselves sane?
1. Fun projects
2. Get new toys and tools every now and then.

If you accept this to be true, and then consider the fact that the capacityto go outside the home for media-based entertainment is significantlydiminished when you've got a very small kiddo in the house, this particulardad has hatched an evil plan.

Now, given that,
1. I want a Blu-Ray player
2. I want an HD Tivo, or at least a higher-capacity SD Tivo,
3. I'm sick of paying Tivo fees

Then my choice of projects is clear: I'm going to build myself a sweet mediaPC / home theater PC. Thing is... the more I search for cohesive information on this, the more frustrated I get. There's mountains of conflicting information, and it seems like the only real soup-to-nuts builds documented out there are years out of date. SO. I think I'll be filling in that gap here, by documenting every component and piece of software purchased along with every single thing I needed to do to get this box running and doing everything I need it to do, with hope that some poor bewildered soul out there can follow along and build themselves a working HTPC / MediaCenter box.

//Warning: Tech stuff ahead.\\

What I've got so far:

1. Antec Fusion 430 Black case. I found one on Ebay, slightly dented butotherwise NIB and unusued, for $90. I really liked this case because I plan to put this down with my other AV gear, and I really wanted a box that had the same look and feel as my receiver. Plus, this case is designed and built around being quiet and running cool. It comes with a beefy 430w power supply and two fans.

2. ASUS P5Q-EM motherboard, purchased new from Newegg for $130 + free s/h. The mobo was one of the most difficult choices for me. It seems the biggest debate running in the world of HTPCs is what it actually takes to decode Blu-Ray disks at an acceptable rate. One camp contends that you need a beefy videocard. The other contends that you're okay with decent onboard video, provided that you're running a stout enough main processor. I threw my lot in with the latter camp. I liked the P5Q-EM had a fairly stout onboard graphics chipset (Intel GMA X4500HD), a 1600/1333FSB, 4x240 pin DDR2 ram slots, two PCIE slots, and an HDMI out. It's more expensive than other mATX mobos aimed at HTPC use, but the added expandability made it worth itfor me.

3. Intel Core2Duo E7200 processor. This is a dual 2.53ghz processor. I'd honestly planned to go with something a little quicker, but when it popped up on slickdeals.net for $79 with free shipping, I had to spring on it. It's a good overclocker, so if I need a little more speed, it can be had pretty easily. It's also a 45nm chip, so it should run cooler. This will be important, as my entertainment center will have to be relatively closed up, so the case won't get as much fresh airflow as I'd normally like.

4. Western Digital 'green' WD10EACS 1TB hard drive. I found it on sale at newegg for $110 with free shipping. I don't care so much about this drive being 'green' as I do it running quiet and cool. This drive will selectively scale down from 7200rpm to 5400rpm when needed, decreasing energy usage, temps, and noise. Reviews confirm these claims. I figure the 1TB capacity will allow me ample room to 'back up' Blu-Ray disks and/or record TV at top quality, without having to be too terribly picky about what I keep.

5. G.Skill 4GB (2x2gb) DDR2-800 memory. Got it from newegg for $60. Sure, my mobo supports faster memory, but per benchmarks at Toms, the difference isn't enough to make up for the price difference. I'm running G.Skill memory on my desktop and love it. And, for crying out loud, 4TB of memoryfor $60. Timing is decent at 5-5-5-15, too. Now, note: I won't be running Vista64, as my hookup can only get me 32, so I'll only get to use3gb of that. But I think it'll be sufficient until I can upgrade later on.

6. LG GGC-H20L Blu-Ray / HD-DVD player + CD/DVD burner. I consider thisto be the crown jewel of my purchases. I ended up on the losing side of the HD battle, and have a small collection of HD-DVDs. Rather than sellthem off on Ebay, or continue using my XBox 360 player, I figured I could buy one of these and not really worry about what kind of disk I was popping in the player- this guy handles Blu-Ray, HD-DVD, and DVD. I picked this one up new on Ebay for $114, a significant savings over the newegg price.

7. Hauppage HVR-1600. This is no longer the newest or hottest TV card on the market, but I found it on slickdeals for like $30 or so last year. I figure at that price, it's got to at least be worth a try. This card will record one analog source (ie, cable) and one digital source (ie, over-the-air HD broadcasts) at a time. I figure that, if my mobo will let me, I'd like to move to a two-card solution, so I can record 2 of each. But I'm not going to even dream of diving in on that yet.

8. Windows Vista Ultimate (32bit). Yeah, I'd rather run 64 bit, but as a part-time MBA student I can get a legitimate copy of this from my University for $14. That's just too good to pass up.

Other thoughts: I actually plan to make good use of Hulu.com and Netflix's 'watch instantly' service, provided they look okay on the TV. I'm sure quality won't be anywhere near HD, but really, does the Colbert Report need to be?

For those of you reading for cute Tori pics, I apologize for the interruption, but I do think that this will provide the internet with some uniquely useful information, stuff which dads everywhere can use, especially with Chrismas coming up. So, hang in there with me during the next few installments. :-) (and yes, I will be getting up some new pics very soon!!)

Jake

Umm. Hi.

Blog, what blog?

Am I good with keeping up with this thing, or what?

This has been an epic couple of months. No sooner was I in the new job when it was time to build the annual budget for next year, which meant a week of 14+hour days. This was not popular with the missus, who was on baby duty unassisted. If I had this to do over again, I'd definately find some sort of reinforcements to call in- grandparents, aunts, friends, whatever.

Here's the thing: babies are unbelievably persistant. You look at them and think there's no way they could beat you- after all, they weigh 12 pounds and are younger than most of your socks. But you'd be wrong. There's nothing that'll make you lose your mind faster than when your kid who is crying, and you can't figure out why. And if you ask me, no one person should beat risk of sitting through that for longer than, say, three or four hours. Any more and the risk of becoming criminally insane becomes unacceptably high for the average adult. But me- I left my poor lady exposed to that risk for four straight nights. Bad medicine, my friends.

Little Tori has found her smile, though. Yeah, I know I owe y'all pictures. But, one step at a time, here. I'll try to get some up very soon.

The smile thing- it may not seem like much, but this is a big deal. For the first two months, you get a lot of crying and poop, but not much in the way of rewards. That's actually really rough. Most parents seem to say that while being a parent is always rough, the kiddo will pay you back with love. But the hitch is, you just have no real evidence of that love for the first two months. Seeing that smile is awesome, though. I hate to sound like such a sap, but it really is.

I have no blog access at work, so my posts will probably come once a week at most... but then, I'm not sure anyone is reading this anymore anyway, so hey. Give me a shout if you are!

Babies take time. A whole lot of time.

Once again, I'm horribly late with an update. Sorry about that, guys.

Life's been full, though! First things first: I have to advise you to NOT try to take MBA classes when you've got a one-month-old. I've found that after your wife has spent 14 consecutive hours with a newborn all by herself, her sanity is fragile and often already a little cracked. Like that little squirrel from the Ice Age trailer, all it takes is one more little nudge before she goes over the edge. Lucky for me, mine is a trooper, but not so much of a trooper that I'm going to push my luck. I dropped next semester's classes, and figure I'll resume when Ms. Screamy McScreamsen has settled into the more-or-less promised 3-month plateau.

I figure if time is like a bank account I have with my wife, I'm probably a bit overdrawn. For example, I might could get away with MBA classes, maybe, if I wasn't also doing stupid things like agreeing to fix peoples' cars. I know, I know, it's stupid- but I've got a friend who is not so well-to-do because she dedicated her life to helping disabled kids... so when her engine blew, I felt like I had to help her. And the wife agreed. But- now I'm taking classes two nights a week, doing group work another night a week, studying in some of the remaining free time, AND I'm supposed to be replacing an engine? That means more manditory face time between mom and Princess Saggypants, which in turn means crazier mom. And not the good, sexy kind of crazy. Nooo, no no.

But as you can see, with the help of my buddy Chris (who also had to abandon his wife and baby to help me out) we got the old engine out, and the new one's going in this weekend, and my friend will get out the door paying under $1000 for an engine replacement. Not bad. I just hope the good karma of helping her out and the bad karma of abandoning the wife and kiddo net out.

In other news, I also just accepted a new job. I'll be doing basically the same thing, but in a more upwardly mobile position, and for a lot more money, which is always nice. Although in this case, I determined that my net change in take-home pay will pretty much be a wash with what we're going to be paying for daycare when my wife goes back to work. Well hey, that's better than being at a negative.

Best for last: aside from the occasional unconsolable crying, little Tori is doing very well. She seems almost impossibly cute (again, when she's not screaming) and I'm at least occasionally good at making her happy. And that is an incredible feeling. You probably won't believe it until you feel it, but it is.

But anyway, the bottom line is that life is full but good for this dad right now. With a baby, you just can't ask for more than that.

Hanging in there

So, I just started back on my MBA.

I'll admit, this seems a bit crazy, since we just had our first kid a month ago. As I learned when I first started the MBA classes, this'll mean even less free time, more stress, less money, and more to do. But ultimately, the cost of not going ahead and finishing this degree is fairly significant, too. So we agreed that I should go for it.

So far it's been... interesting. I feel a bit like a guy whose day has magically shrunk to about 18 hours. Not just on class days, but every day. But there are benefits, too, actually- I get myself a little break from all things baby. Don't get me wrong, I love my little girl, but sometimes there can be a bit of overexposure, if you know what I mean.

But alas, I know the blog has suffered. Work continues to be more than a little busy, and the breakneck pace of summer classes leave little room for writing. I'll make up for it later, guys, I promise. :)

On Poo.

If there's one subject that magically stops being taboo among otherwise civil adults once a kid arrives, that subject is poo.

Yeah, I don't know why, either.

The best I can figure is that it's gallows humor. After all, as parents, we're actively having to deal with one of the foulest, most disgusting substances on earth, multiple times per day. There's just no getting around that sad fact. In many cases, you're actually getting sprayed with said substance during a diaper change. It might end up on the walls, or the furniture, or god-knows-where. But it's something that has to be done, so what else is there to do but joke about it?

There is a line, though. A few months ago the wife and I were at a nice seafood restaurant in Charleston with four other couples - all either parents or expectant parents. There were no kids present; we were all getting some much-needed adult time.

And yet, while enjoying this fantastic meal of fresh seafood, what did we talk about? Yeah. Poo. Yellow poo vs brown poo. Smooth poo vs. 'seedy' poo. Eventually, I sort of nervously laughed and said, "Guys. We've been talking about poo for the last five minutes. NEW SUBJECT!"

Everyone else laughed... though I never quite worked out whether they were laughing at me being squeamish, or laughing because they realized what, exactly, they had been doing.

Alright, I'll admit, I have issues. I still retch sometimes when changing dirty diapers, and my angel of a wife does most of them for me. But still, even when we're parents, there are some standards of decorum that really should maintained, yes?

Poo or no poo, there are still plenty of moments when it's all worth it. Like this one:

Stuff I don't plan on giving up: Part 2

Every man needs a sport.

And I don't mean a sport you watch on TV. While there is, without a doubt, a certain need for men to gather together and observe the nation's finest athletes doing their thing, and perhaps supporting some team with which you feel some loyalty or connection.

And I'm not talking about coaching your kids' little league team, though that's certainly noble, too.

No, I think every man should have at least one sport that they actually participate in. It doesn't have to be athletic- just something in which a man can engage his competitive spirit. Something he can win. I maintain that being competitive helps a guy maintain his sense of vigor; it helps him give his kids the sense of focus and drive they'll need to succeed in the real world. And while we compete every day at work, there are few concrete victories in the workplace. In sport, there are. So having a sport is, in my opinion, absolutely key.

For me, that sport is racing. I do a few others, too- but racing is where my real passion is at. Lucky for me, my sort of racing (called 'autocross') isn't one where I'm likely to get killed or drop a couple of thousand dollars per weekend, which, I'd say, greatly increases the likelihood that I'll get to continue participating in. This one takes up about one weekend a month from March to October, and costs less than pretty much any other form of racing.

This year is sizing up pretty well. Five races into the season and I'm leading the regional championship rankings for my class by a healthy eight-point margin. I had my first real test of how sustainable this sport was going to be, already- we had a race just a week after the baby was born. My wife, God bless her, knew how important this was to me, and practically shooed me out the door. Life is good.

Of course, that first time, she had her mom to stick around and help her out, and as I've noticed with other friends, they just get to be more and more of a handful as time goes on. Still, I'm optimistic that I won't have to give this up.

I do have other sports that may fall, though. I've been fairly active in my local Ultimate Frisbee league for the last few years, and I love it- but Ultimate night falls between the other two nights where I have MBA classes, and I would like to get to know my daughter at some point. And I don't know how much I'll get out to play golf. But giving those up are a lot easier, knowing that I'm getting to keep the one that's really important to me, you know?

So, hon, I know you're reading this- thank you!

So far, so good.

So, we’re finishing up our second week. All told, it’s been a pretty good experience, largely because Katrina has taken on a lion’s share of the work. This whole week she’s let me sleep all night, every night, while she handled all the diapers, feedings, and whatnot. I’m not sure what I did to deserve this treatment, but if I knew, I reckon I could get filthy rich selling the secret. Coming back to work, with a week’s backlog waiting, is less than fun, and I suspect having a full night’s sleep every night during the ‘digging back out’ process is perhaps a new gold standard in treating your man right, surpassing even the customary activities of March 14.

We’ve had ‘Mimi’ (that’s Katrina’s mom) here this week, which has also been good- she’s been awesome about helping with the unbelievable amounts of laundry this little one produces, about holding or watching her for a bit, and with darn near everything else. Let me go ahead and pass on some advice I received, though: If you’re thinking about having parents come to help, do this: Have one come, stay for a week, then do a week alone. Then maybe have another one come, and stay for a week. Left up to my own devices, I’d keep a grandmother here probably for the next two months, but there exists a weird effect between a new mom and an old mom. Old mom knows the way she always did things, and knew they worked pretty well, whereas new mom wants to try out her own methods and whatnot, and the dynamic between the two women can get a bit weird. It’s like- have you ever watched a kid trying to tie their shoes? And eventually you get frustrated seeing them fumbling around and screwing it up for five minutes, so you finally do it for them, and then you wonder why the kid is mad at you? It’s like that, but with poop and bottles and whatnot. Katrina and her mom have actually been doing really well on this count, but here at the tail end of the week I can definitely detect a little tension forming, and I think it’s probably good that we’re not going for another week. Right now I think the plan is to go it alone for a week, then have my mom come down the week after that.

As for the kid herself, she’s freakin’ adorable. Despite me being preoccupied with work and trying to stay caught up with household chores, she and I have been having some pretty good time together. There seems to be a few windows between sleep, eat, and poop where she wakes up and checks out the world, so I try to rush in and steal her during those times. One bit that I’ve voluntarily picked up, and am enjoying, is the bedtime story. Of course, she has no idea what I’m saying, but she seems to like looking at the book, at least, so I’ll take it!

Bottom line- so far, so good! Of course, once Katrina has to go back to school, or she gets sick of giving me free nights off, it may be a different story. Stay tuned!

Been an interesting week!

Sorry for the late post, guys. It's been an interesting week.

So, on the 6th- Friday before last- the wife was supposed to come to the office for a baby shower, at 2:00p. My office is maybe not the timeliest when it comes to planning baby showers- my coworker, Mike, actually had his kid a few days before the day for which his shower was planned. But they set this one a tad earlier- a good two weeks off the due date. Which isn't too bad, for my office.

Of course, it wasn't good enough. At 1:30p, Katrina calls and says, "I'm not joking. My water just broke."

So, we were off to the races. I attempted to drive home at near-race pace, but traffic, it seems, hadn't gotten the memo. I didn't get snarled in a true traffic jam, just one of those shoulder-to-shoulder-at-35mph deals. Which normally isn't a big deal. But when you can't be entirely sure that your wife isn't about to deliver your daughter on your couch, it becomes perhaps a smidge more frustrating. Like, cursing-and-pounding-your-steering-wheel frustrating.

Thankfully, I arrived to find my girl fresh-faced, all packed up, and ready to roll. Admissions were fairly painless- the ten minutes covering the process during the childbirth class got that part right on.

Here's what I wasn't entirely ready for: the waiting game. Of course, I knew that there would be a wait; when your wife is pregnant you hear dozens of stories of 'she was in labor for 22 hours' and so forth. What I didn't fully grasp was how time stretches during this period. You know how, when you were a kid, the night before Christmas morning seemed to last forever? Well, this was just like that. Except instead of tossing restlessly in your bed, you're stuck in a room with a woman in terrible intermittent pain, and you can't really do much to help her. And instead of stumbling downstairs to see what Santa left you, you get to see a doctor cutting...

..oh wait, we'll get to that later.

So the first real hurdle was about the three hour mark, when the pain started getting too much for her and she decided she wanted an epidural. Sadly, the anesthesiologist was in the middle of another emergency case, and had yet another one after that. However, our nurse was very touchy-feely. That's good enough, right?

Not so much. Katrina is not one that wants to be cooed over or touched when she's hurting. She wants to be left the heck alone. At this point she had kicked ever her father out of the room, and this girl is nuts about her dad. And yet, this nurse was right on top of her, rubbing on her face and saying things like, "focus! focus!" I seriously thought Katrina was going to get up and maul that lady. Thankfully she went off her shift about 45 minutes later and we got The Best Nurse In the World, who, among other excellent qualities, had enough intuition to stay clear until the epidural showed up.

And yeah, once the epidural showed up, Katrina was out, like a light, leaving me in the room, relieved but puzzled about what to do. I elected to snap a quick pic, and then tried to figure out what to do next. Turns out there's really not much to do in such a situation... so I broke out the notebook and organized and tagged some MP3s. Seems inappropriate, I know, but... I couldn't leave the room, I couldn't turn on the TV, so MP3 organization is what I had. At least it wasn't office work.

I'll skip most of the rest of the details of the next eight or so hours and get right to the good part: midnight. By this time she was fully dilated and ready to rock. Our next curveball was that our usual doctor wasn't on call that weekend, and we'd be working with an Indian fellow with a nice thick accent. Our nurse had to translate sometimes. But he was fairly confident, which Katrina liked.

However, one part of my plan went right out of the window. I'd planned to stay up by Katrina's head, pretending to share words of strength and encouragement, but the doc asked me to come down to the 'business end' to help, by holding a leg and ankle. Yeah, not part of the plan. And I suggest it not be part of your plan, either, as you will see parts of your wife do things that may haunt your dreams. But even that was small change compared to the surprise of the night... before I could look away, the doc had grabbed a pair of scissors and performed an episiotomy. For those of you not in the know, that's when the doctor creates a wider opening for the baby by cutting some or all of the flesh between the anus and vagina. I'm not sure exactly what I did, because whatever part of my brain that protects my sanity from the darkest horrors haven't released access to those memories yet, but I'm sure it wasn't good. And worse, he apparently didn't cut deep enough, because she tore a bit, too. Yikes. And despite all that... they still had to use a vacuum extractor- sort of a suction cup they affix to the top of her head- to get her out. She was a big 'un.

Shortly after that, though- at 12:22am on 6.7.08, to be exact, we had ourselves a little girl. She weighed 8lb 7oz and measured 20.5 inches. She was a bit goopy at first, but the fabled protective instincts kicked in right away when I saw some nurse I'd never met jabbing one of those nasal aspirators into her mouth. I know it had to be done, but why the jabbing, fer chrissakes?

Anyway, the kiddo was healthy and stable, and after a bit of stitching, cleaning, weighing, and whatnot, everyone made an exit and the family and friends came in to visit. We had a pretty impressive crowd. I ran out to get Katrina a double cheeseburger and fries from Burger King- which she very specifically requested. (I'll admit, I stole a few fries on the way back to the hospital. They smelled too good.)

We were in the hospital from Friday at about 2:00p until Monday around noon, and a had a pretty good experience. One good lesson here: if they offer to take your baby away to the nursery for an evening so you can get some sleep.... DO IT. You'll be spending countless nights with them for the rest of their life, but a little sleep will certainly keep you a bit more sane and rational. But anyway, over the next few days we spent some quality time together, figuring out the breastfeeding thing and generally bonding, which was nice. Being cooped up in a single room and sleeping on a couch for three days and nights was maybe less fun. It was nice to get home.

All told, I'd have to say it was a good experience. Currently little Tori and her mom are both doing pretty well. We're not getting as much sleep as we'd like, but we've got a healthy, cute baby, and for that I'm incredibly grateful.

Thanks again, everyone, for your well wishes!

Stuff I don't plan on giving up: Part 1

Seems like every time someone has a baby, there's always a huge laundry list of things that everyone believes you'll have to give up. "Oh, guess you won't be doing [this] or [that] anymore," or "I suppose you'll be selling your [whatever] soon."


I'm really curious about how much of this is pre-baby terror, and how much is realistic. I mean, I'm an intelligent and flexible guy, I've got friends and enough money to hire a babysitter now and then. I'm really wondering what- if anything- of my current possessions and activities I'll have to give up. So in the next few weeks I'll be covering the things I don't expect to have to give up... and you guys will get to see how that works out for me.

Let's start with the first item: video games. This, I think, may actually be one of the more challenging ones. Gaming is inherently a two-handed activity... and I've learned from experience that babies generally take at least one hand. But I've never been one to be deterred from a challenge. As it is, there doesn't seem to be enough time for me to even come even close to keeping up with the incredible new titles that are coming out for the 360 and the Wii. So how will the bundle of joy effect this? Will my already sparse game time dwindle into nothingness? Here's what I'm thinking:

1. There's two of us. Now, I know better than to think I can pawn Princess Squirmkins off on the missus all night while I blast through waves of the Covenant, okay? But I do believe there is certainly plenty of daily give-and-take to be had... and I know the missus has stuff she's going to want to do sans infant, too. So in the process of trading favors, I should be able to sneak in some game time.


2. Thank god for the Wii. Looks like there's at least a few good titles that will end up being one-handed. Boom Blox, for example, looks pretty promising. And I'm reasonably sure I can WiiBowl with a kid on the other arm. Might affect my score a smidge, but the rest of the crew is probably happy for me to have a handicap. Heh.


3. There's always LAN parties. My buddy Eric throws a big LAN party about once a quarter that's half geekfest and half drunken, rowdy college-style party. The missus has already said I'm still completely clear to continue hitting the LAN parties.... thanks probably in no small part to my boys Chris and Thom paving the way- after all, they've got babies, and they haven't missed one yet. I owe ya, fellas.


All told, I'm reasonably sure having a baby will mean somewhat less gaming- but I certainly don't plan on giving it up. (Mark those words. I may have to eat them later!)

Living with a Preggo: Third Trimester

Have you ever been in one of those situations where you're getting this whole stream of information coming your way- much of which is horrifying- and yet you know you just have to pay attention?

The third trimester is a lot like that. Like, yesterday, the wife informed me that she had lost her mucus plug. While this is a pertinent bit of information, signaling that the pregnancy is probably within two weeks of its end, knowing that there was a plug of mucus in my girl's nether regions was just something I really did not want to know.

Don't worry, though- there are lesser horrors in the third trimester. Let's cover the two big ones.

1. The Baby Shower.

"What the hell, man?" My buddy Brian asked me. "Guys are coming to the baby shower? Are you serious?"

Yeah, I was. I guess it's some sort of new trend, but apparently these days adult males are expected to come along, eat the finger foods, and ooh appropriately at the little bibs and whatnot. Gone forever are the days where a man could expect to hit the golf course with his boys during this time. Now, you and your boys will be all dressed up and at the shower, too.

Fortunately, my homegirl Noelle was throwing this one, and she took a few steps to make it easier for the guys- she manned up the food a bit (hooray for a hearty breakfast casserole rather than cucumber sandwiches) and she put together a customized baby shower bingo game to keep the fellas occupied. Kudos to you, Noelle! Alas, few things will make this sacred bastion of femaleness palatable to some guys. If this is very much not your environment, I recommend smuggling in a flask.


2. The Childbirth Class

Okay, I've got to be honest: this was the single most horrifying part of the whole pregnancy process for me.

It started out so promising: It was a room full of fresh-faced first-time parents just like us, they served us a modest breakfast, did a round of introductions, then went through the stuff I was mostly there for: the process we'd be expected to follow when The Day came. All very good information!

It all went to hell from there.

Next we were told to separate by gender, and asked to share our greatest hope/joy, and our greatest fear, about the delivery process. Me and this group of guys look at each other with trepidation: none of us wanted to start "sharing" with a bunch of dudes we didn't know at all. The girls were already merrily chatting away. So, like an idiot, I decide to take the lead, and give it an honest shot. BIG mistake. I admitted that my biggest hope would be that all goes quickly and smoothly, and my biggest fear was for the health of my wife and baby- that something might go wrong and either might end up seriously hurt, or worse. My fellow dads-to-be smirked. They knew that whatever they said, it wouldn't sound as pansy as what I'd just said. Practically all the remaining dads insisted that their biggest fear was that they wouldn't actually get to see the baby emerge and be the first to touch it. They practically bristled with steely-eyed masculinity. I'm sorry, maybe I'm a giant wimp, but I neither want to see my wife's fun bits stretched to crazy, melon-size diameters, nor do I want to see my daughter's skull squashed down, and then reinflated to something near its proper size. I think I'll stay on the other side of the curtain, where I can pretend to provide moral support to my wife, rather that what I'll actually be doing, which is trying to stay conscious.

Anyway, after our nice little sharing session, we proceeded to watch some videos that looked to have been from the early 80s. The first wasn't too horrible- it followed the birth processes of a couple of very overweight and hairy Northern Minnesota women. Fair enough. The next video, however, was the one I hated. It went though damn near everything that could go horribly wrong during the delivery process, and what the doctors could try to do to correct those things. This is the stuff nightmares are made of, fellas. I can't say you don't need to know this stuff- it might be okay to understand what's going on should such a nightmare come to pass- but when it comes right down to it, I'm paying a team of doctors a HUGE pile of money to take care of any problems that should arise. I really don't need to see videos of tiny infants being extracted by very ungentle means, resuscitated, or what-have-you. That kind of education is only going to give me nightmares. And if that makes me a wimp, I suppose I'm a wimp, thanks. That's doctor territory; I'm a financial analyst for a reason.

With my stomach still doing slow rolls, we were coached on how to give our women backrubs. They got a one-hour backrub out of the deal, and I suppose I got a free hand workout. But they at least lowered the lights and played soft music, which helped with my recovery from the horror video.

All told, though, I guess it was something worthwhile to do, even with the thorny bits. I just hope some of you guys get- or got- a different video. Seriously.

And then, there's the preggo herself. Third trimester is, to be sure, a little awkward for the ladies. And rightly so. I'm doing me best to be a good hubby, fetching as needed so she doesn't have to maneuver her way into that precariously tippy standing position nine-monthers tend to have. But a few things caught me off guard. Like, snoring. My girl, who to my knowledge has never really snored before, now snores the way you'd have to imagine Walter Matthau would. This is, apparently, totally normal. (I'll probably pay a price for revealing this, but hey- it's not like she can chase me down to beat me!) The kiddo is also taking up a lot of the room that used to be devoted to stomach and bladder space, so Katrina now eats about ten bites total per meal, but eats about twenty times a day. Ever buy a girl a nice steak, have her eat a tiny corner, and declare she's done? That kind of thing happens all the time with a preggo. The big difference is, she actually will raid the fridge for the leftovers. And then of course, there's incessant trips to the bathroom. I mean, all the freaking time. But, whatcha gonna do? The chick's got a bowling ball in her belly. Gotta cut her some slack, I guess.


Prognosis

We're short timers, now. I think we nominally have four weeks left, but with the appearance of the previously mentioned plug, it's looking like we're probably down to two or less. Her last visit to the doctor revealed that all is well with the baby; she's turned right and we're just waiting for the big day, at this point. Me and Chris are swapping out the flywheel in my car for a lightweight one, and replacing the clutch while we're in there. Just wait, this kid is going to decide to kick off the show while I'm covered in grease and clutch dust.

I'll keep you posted - 'till next time, take care.

Adventure a'plenty over Memorial Day weekend.

Sorry for the delay, folks. Work has been... brisk. So, had a great weekend. I took a gamble and left the preggo with her parents in favor of going for a bit of an adventure themed weekend. We started off by meeting for a hike the Art Loeb Trail in Pisgah National Forest. It rained most of the time, unfortunately, but it at least made for some good sleeping. The rain broke a bit for the hike back out, which made for a few good vistas. My dad caught this pic of me during a quick break on Tennant Mountain:

To be certain, even a crappy day of hiking beats a good day at the office, and it was nice to get out to places where there is no cell signal- where if someone wants to reach you, they've got to strap on a pair of boots and do a couple of miles of hard uphill. Of course... when your girl is 'in the window' to have your firstborn, that very fact can also be a tad bit unnerving.

After we got off the trail and grabbed showers, we met my brother back at my parents' house, where my mom served up an awesome meal of barbecue sandwiches, homemade coleslaw, and watermelon. After a short nap, we were off to see the new Indiana Jones movie. My old man and I have seen all of the Indy films in the theater, together. So this was a must.

Personally, I wasn't disappointed. It was what any Indiana Jones movie should be: ridiculously over-the-top. I keep hearing people complaining about how unrealistic this movie is- but as for me, I'd have been mad if it hadn't been. Let's review some key points of the prior movies:

- In Raiders of the Lost Ark, the biblical Ark of the Covenant spewed forth spirits and laser beams that melted and/or exploded a bunch of Nazis.

- In The Temple of Doom an Indian guy managed to punch through a guy's breastbone using just his fingernails, drag out his heart, which then continued to beat and then burst into flame during the next few minutes while the guy was being lowered into some lava.

- In The Last Crusade, they found a several-hundred-year-old knight guarding the Holy Grail.

Yeah, I'd say over the top is what the Indiana Jones series is about. And this one, in my opinion, does it right. You've got Kate Blanchett playing a rapier-toting, communist version of Betty Page. And I was pleasantly surprised to see that Indy wasn't tapping that. I don't know about you guys, but I always get a little creeped out when a 60-something year old leading man ends up hooking up with some grossly younger chick. I know that at one point I saw that as being cool. I guess that's one more thing that changes when you have a little girl, eh?

Anyway, bottom line is that if you can unhook your disbelief and try to take in this Indy the same way you took in Raiders back when you were 8 or so, I'm thinking you'll find it a good ride, and certainly worthy of seeing on the big screen.

Last but not least, we watched UFC 84, which was an all around good fight card. Tito Ortiz's shots- as well as his little comeback- were handily stuffed by Lyoto Machida. Even though Tito has cleaned up his act a lot in the past years, I'm always game for seeing him get owned; in my book he's still got a lot of arsehole karma to pay off still. Machida came out second in the Sherdog rankings, and word is that he'll be up for a title shot at the winner of July 5th's Rampage Jackson - Forrest Griffin fight.

Wanderlei "The Axe Murderer" Silva rather handily illustrated that Keith Jardine has, indeed, wandered out into deeper waters than he's quite ready for. It only took the big Brazilian 36 seconds to tuck The Dean of Mean in for a nice nap. I don't dislike Jardine, but I think this answers questions about whether Liddell was just having a bad day at UFC 76.

And then the main event, BJ Penn vs Sean Sherk, for the lightweight title. I'm still mixed about this one. Penn punished Sherk on their feet for three solid rounds- but everyone was expecting Sherk's solid conditioning to keep him rolling into the fourth and fifth rounds while Penn began to run out of juice. At the close of the third round, Penn dropped Sherk with a flying knee and pounced in with strikes. Ref Mario Yamasake made as if to stop it as a TKO, but seeing Sherk fight back, he stopped short. Just then, the bell rang. Penn goes over to Yamasake, arguing that he had stopped the fight before the bell- which replays showed he hadn't, in my opinion. Yamasake seemed to reluctantly agree and ruled that Sherk was 'unable to continue'. This seemed pretty sketchy to me. I'm not terribly sure the fight would have gone any other way had it been allowed to continue, but I'll take a good clean stoppage over a ref taking direction from a fighter any day.

With all that goodness done, I returned home Sunday to find that the baby was still inside the wife, thank goodness. I'm not sure what, exactly, would have happened to me if little Tori had decided that she was going to make an appearance while I was gone, but something tells me that it wouldn't have ended favorably. After another good meal with the in-laws and yet another good meal with friends on Monday, I returned to work fat, but happy.

So that's all I've got for now! Hopefully I'll be able to catch up on posting by getting out my "Living with a Preggo" series finale by the end of the weekend. Stay tuned!!

Living with a Preggo: Second Trimester

Second trimester is often called the 'feel good' trimester for the women. This is because, while they're still not all that much bigger, most of the nausea and low-energy feelings commonly associated with the first trimester is gone, and they're getting a nice surge of happy hormones.


For us guys, however, there is limited feel-good in the second trimester. Because the ladies' surge of can-do is almost always focused on dragging you around to every store that sells baby stuff within a fifty mile radius. At least twice a week. And you've got at act like you're loving it.

Most guys, I think, actually do want to be involved in 'building the nest', so to speak, if for no other reason to limit the sort of stuff that's going to end up spread all over the living room, and/or to make sure their son doesn't end up with a wardrobe full of frilly yellow frocks. But really, I think there is a certain amount of deception when it comes to a guy's involvement in the registering-for-baby-gear process. Which is to say, a gal wants to believe a guy cares about this stuff, and the best way they have to test this is to quiz you. I'm willing to bet most guys with kids had a conversation similar to this, during the registering process:

Gal: Which of these high-chairs do you like the best?
Guy: I like the wooden one.
Gal: Really? Do you think the wood would be too heavy?
Guy: Um... no?
Gal: It might be a little dark for our dining room.
Guy: Um, okay....
Gal: I think we should get the plastic Graco one. Do you like the fuschia or seafoam one better?
Guy: The what? I... I guess I like the green one. That's seafoam, right?
Gal: Yes, but it doesn't match our drapes. Let's the the fuschia one. [scans it]

So in most cases, when she asks, "which one of these do you like the best," your job is to guess which one she likes best. It's like a game! And if you perform well, you'll probably get back to your Xbox and/or football game a lot earlier. Personally, I'm okay with it. She's the one that has to haul the kicking bowling ball around for quite a few months, she should get to pick out most of the stuff.

However, there are exceptions. Those of you expecting sons- it is certainly your sacred duty to protect them from excessive lace, and/or the notion that colors such as light purple and pastel yellow are 'gender neutral' colors. They, of course, are not. I was pretty stoked to see a reference in Juno to that effect.

Save for the 'stuff' issue, second trimester is mostly a breeze. Enjoy it while it lasts, because third trimester gets a heck of a lot more.... interesting. More on that later, of course!

Where a man's passion for gagetry maybe doesn't belong.

So my buddy Keith passed along this fine patent application, circa 1963:

http://www.google.com/patents?id=qtFaAAAAEBAJ

As guys, we've got to sympathize with ol' Geroge, there. He knew childbirth was tough and he wanted to make it easier for his lady. So he broke out his slide-rule and got to work. Vacuum? No good. Creating pressure on the other side of the baby? No access! What then? Well heck, let's sling momma around and around until the little one pops out and is handily caught in what looks to be a modified trout net! And as a bonus, mom gets a nice thrill ride, which she should surely enjoy! Brilliant! (Oooor, hey, maybe not)

Did you notice this guy's wife's name appeared on the patent? Surely that inclusion involved a phrase from her something like, "Yes love, whatever. Just be a dear and make me another cocktail, will you?"

Life with a preggo - first trimester

Most guys seem to be terrified of living with a baby. Really, though, there's something else to be worried about first: You've got to live with a pregnant lady for nine months.

There's two things that guys without kids think they know about pregnant women: they get morning sickness, and they have weird cravings.

Here's what you actually need to know about pregnant women: they're completely unpredictable. Will they having morning sickness? Er, maybe. Will they have weird cravings? Dunno.

I wouldn't have known this if my buddy Chris and homegirl Noelle hadn't gone though this first. But even knowing it didn't really prepare me for Katrina's first trimester rollercoaster.

Take the morning sickness thing: I had no idea that morning sickness can well be evening sickness. Now, Katrina has always had a real iron stomach... through ten years of marriage, I don't think she ralfed even once the whole time, at least not without the help of señor tequila. So when she said she was getting queasy one night while we were walking, I thought she was messing with me. Being the ever-caring husband that I am, I broke out an old favorite elementary school song. You may know it:

Great big globs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
mutilated monkey meat
little dirty birdy feet
two big eyeballs rollin' up and down the street
and I forgot my spoon...
but I've got my straaaaaw!

Yeah, right about then, she lost her cookies all over the neighbor's lawn. And then she delivered a well-deserved beating to the father of her unborn child. Ooooops. Guess that iron stomach is no more, eh? Even in the evening!

We didn't- and still haven't- seen much in the way of weird cravings. As far as I can tell, the only thing that's changed, food-wise, with my girl is that she went from being a long-term sweet-cream nazi (prior to the pregnancy, we pretty much could only go to ice cream places that had that wierd new sweet cream non-flavor that they serve at Marble Slab and Cold Stone) to her being practically addicted to the darkest ice cream she can find. But heck, I'll take it; that beats having to go out at 3am to try to find bok choy or something.

So anyway, the best advice I can give prospective dads about dealing with your girl that first trimester is to stay on your toes and expect damn near anything. Chances are good it's not going to be anything like you expect.

Introduction

Yeah, I'm definitely in trouble now.

Seems like some guys are just cut out for fatherhood. I mean, they can be 21 and freshly married, and they’re ready for some babies.

Yeah, that wasn’t me.

But I put up the good fight! For the last ten years I’ve enjoyed an extended youth- we traveled when we felt like it, bought cool toys, went to plenty of late-late movies and slept ‘till lunchtime on Saturdays. But now that me and the missus are into our thirties… well, let’s just say that someone’s biological clock made itself known. And I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that sometimes I didn’t want a little one to warp however I wanted. Plus, several of our closest friends also spawned, and the products of those operations weren’t nearly as awful and life-wrecking as I’d come to believe. (Although, to be fair, it sure isn’t me waking up in the middle of the night!)

And so, given all that, she tossed her pills, I tossed my condoms.

A month and a half later… yeah… just a month an a half… the missus wakes me up. Not the normal way, though- normally she wakes me by shaking my foot until I hide it someplace she can’t reach, and then she steals my covers, and then starts threatening me with water. This time, though, she climbed in bed next to me. Just as I thought she was having a rare spell of morning friskiness, she stops me cold with The Phrase: “I’m pregnant.”

Now, I haven’t checked lately, but I’m reasonably sure that there’s something in the Geneva conventions that outlaws doing something like that to a man first thing in the morning. Most women don’t get this, but there’s just something about that moment that does something to a man, something strange and terrifying, even if you’re expecting it. It’s like going to sleep in your own bed and waking up in the middle of a skydive. Even if you wanted to go skydiving the night before, you weren’t necessarily ready to wake up mid-air, you know?

But hey, you know what? I’m all in. In the ensuing months we learned that it’s going to be a little girl, we named her Victoria, and acquired a bunch of white and/or fluffy stuff. We’re currently 35 weeks into the pregnancy, which means we’re within the window where Little Miss may show up any day now.

What I’m really wondering, and hoping to document here, is how much, exactly, the life a guy like me will change. It’ll be huge, I know, but how huge? What’ll happen to my racing, my love of videogames and beer, my time with my buddies? Can a guy like me have as much fun with a cute, dribblin’ little girl in tow?

I think so, probably. But maybe not in the ways I’m expecting.

So, I’m hoping some of you might like to come along on this ride with me. I’ll be talking about movies, beer, videogames, TV, cars, sports, and … of course … a lot about my little girl, and how she relates to all this. I’m totally not prepared for this, so you may get in a laugh or two at me as I fumble through it. Maybe a few of you will have some helpful advice… throw it my way, if so; I’d love to hear it! But, should be a good time.

See ya next time!